June 28, 2011

Subway Cookies - a.k.a "My Nemisis"

The other day I went to Subway.  There is one close to my house and sometimes I just don't feel like cooking dinner, but still want to avoid the typical fast food places.  That limits my options drastically and Subway, being the most conveniently located, often gets bumped to the top of the easy/cheap/healthy dinner visit list.

As with any other visit to Subway, I go in knowing pretty much what I want to eat. "I'll have a 6" turkey sub on wheat bread" I say to the girl behind the snot glass case.  "Lettuce, tomato, pickles, red onion, spinach, jalapenos, salt and pepper and some lite mayo".  That's my order almost every time.  Quick, simple, easy....... Time to go.  Right?  Wrong!  Oh so very wrong.  Just when I think I've conjured up a decent dinner that even my wife would be proud of, I hear those dreaded words........ "Would you like to make it a meal?"

I freeze, knowing I'm screwed.

You see, I have a love/hate relationship with Subway.  On the one hand, they sell fairly cheap, fairly healthy sandwiches.  On the other hand, they sell cookies. GOOD cookies.  While I'm positive I don't want to know what is actually in Subway cookies,  I'll just assume it's some mixture of nicotine, sugar, and general yumminess as that gives me some validation in my constant struggle to withstand their powers.  But I'm like a redneck in dollar store when I'm near them;  I just can't control myself .  They have the ability to strip away all willpower and make me into putty in their evil little cookie hands.

The sad part is that every time I go to Subway I'm convinced that I actually want a sandwich.  It's a lie though.  There's some kind of subconscious magnetism in their cookie dough that draws me in, unsuspectingly, and tells me to order a sandwich.  I never even see the cookies until I'm in the store.  They hunker down and wait until I'm fully sandwich-commited before they launch the attack on my willpower.  It's a full frontal assault and it's typically over before I know what happened.  Next thing I realize, I'm sitting down eating cookies when I totally just wanted a sandwich.... I swear!

No comments:

Post a Comment